What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is the general opinion of psychologists on Donald Trump's presidency?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What are the common formulas for improvising ornaments in bel canto singing?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Can the belief of not worshipping Christ held by Jehovah's Witnesses be disproven using scripture alone?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Have you experimented with bestiality?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Can someone write me a sex story?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

TEXT:

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I am married for 3 years. My husband keeps pressing my boobs 40-50 times a day. He never stops though I ask him not to. What I should do to stop it?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do so many people suddenly think it's acceptable to continue to live with their parents into adulthood?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What have you learned from your parents' mistakes?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.